Boxes
by NabikiB
Summary: If you could send your favorite Doctor Who characters a prezzie, all wrapped up in sturdy boxes, covered with nice paper and ribbons with a tag, what would be in the present to each?
1. You've Got Mail

If you could send your favorite Doctor Who characters a prezzie, all wrapped up in sturdy boxes, covered with nice paper and ribbons with a tag, what would be in the present to each?

* * *

**BOXES**

* * *

The Ninth Doctor opened a present sent to him via some weird method that the TARDIS _refused _to explain. She was busy installing the last of the parts from a present box so _big _she had barely managed to pick it up: It had enough parts for her to make four brand new ships and she wasn't wasting _any _time replacing the worn out or jury-rigged bits she _had _been using. She had made a point of ignoring him with a will for nearly a month, except to tell him to install this or that and to do it NOW...all that remained were the parts she had to take care of herself.

Which led him to the point he was at now...opening a present his ship _swore _was safe, along with more piled next to him where he sat on the jump seat...and a small pile of empty boxes and wrappings from the ones he'd already opened. Next to him, Rose let out yet another delighted squeal and drew the _flimsiest_ excuse for a nightie out of a pile of tissue in the box she'd just opened, that he'd ever seen. He swallowed thickly, easily able to imagine what she'd look like with it on. "Oh! And it's got _matching _knickers! Look! Aren't they _cute_?"

He averted his eyes from the lacy, flimsy _scrap_ of gauze she called knickers and sighed as he drew out a pair of part denim breeches that were leather on the outside.

"Oh, you'll look good in those...like you were _poured _into them."

"And this is a good thing?"

"Oh _definitely_. And denim on the inside, meaning _cotton_, so you stay comfortable."

"_Ooooh_..._these _are nice. Butt-less!" Jack pumped his right fist in the air as he lifted soft buckskin breeches. "And they lace up, too...this sort, you put on after you make sure they're soaked real good, they dry on you and are form fitting. I love them! Say, someone sure seems to _like_ us, don't they? Provided the TARDIS with new parts, first...then this stuff...and there's lots and lots of _stuff_...from lots of email addresses, too."

"Yeah. My timeship refuses to tell me how she got hold of all the gifts, either. Told me to shut up and just be grateful for once." He huffed, as he opened a smaller, velvet lined box with the skimpiest pair...could you call that a pair? Of male underpants that he'd ever seen. "Do people _really_ wear these?"

"A _thong_?" Jack barely held back his grin. "Someone sent you a _leather_ thong?"

"Don't suppose you'd model that for me...I'll show you mine if you'll show me your's..." Rose suggested. She was looking at him like she'd appreciate it if he volunteered to be her _lunch_...

"Um." The Doctor replied intelligently.

* * *

**~*finis for now*~**

* * *

**WILL BE CONTINUED _**ONLY** _IF I GET IDEAS FOR THE NEXT LOAD OF PREZZIES**


	2. TAWLC

Summary: There's another load, waiting beside the kitchen table, this time...

* * *

T.A.W.L.C.

* * *

He sighed as he puzzled out the various ways the TAWLC would open. He got the WLC part, what he didn't get was the TA, bit. Why this thing would be TARDIS approved, he had no idea. The Weird Looking Container part was easy. It had long fat jutting bits in various directions. The top was a huge ball-shaped construction and it was covered in odd folds and bits of hardened material on hinges. Apparently, whatever he'd been sent was quite valuable. It also had little pumps all over it with hoses going inside to keep the right atmosphere in there...so whatever it was, was _alive_.

Someone had sent him a pet. Probably several pets, going by the sheer size of the thing. TARDIS approved pets, which meant she wouldn't allow him to get rid of them. He swore softly in Gallifreyan as he worked the next bit off, leaving the pumps and hoses in place. Whatever was in there didn't need to suffocate.

* * *

As the last 'door' fell away, he caught his breath in wonder...eyes flicking over the system controls next to the stasis field where she slept. He looked over the instruments and feeds and realized that this thing had been constructed to survive the void safely, while keeping her in suspended animation...just in case something vital failed and she was killed. She would have gone from stasis to dead instantly, but more importantly, unaware of it and painlessly. There was a note in his own hand writing taped to the back of that last door, first it listed the code he needed to enter to start bringing her out of stasis. He did that first, then read the rest of the clone's note.

_Hello ME!_

_I'm 89 and nearly gone on...and Rose isn't aging. So...I built this thing, dropped her into stasis without warning and bagged her up. This body has enough Time Lord in it that I didn't think watching turn to powder over the course of a week or more, with bits dusting off and finally just collapse was a good idea for our Rose. _

"Agreed."

_I did marry her, you know...which of course means she knows the Name. So...you're married to Rose, like it or not.  
_

The Thirteenth nodded, shuddering a bit at the thought of putting her through that. "True."

_So...I sent her off back to care of her, Me. She's regenerated twice since we've been here. Weird ones, though. No changing...and she kept shooting most of it at me despite my protests that she really shouldn't do it. Understand though...would've gone on thirty years ago if she hadn't. _She's got some noisy baggage along, though. You'll like it._  
_

"Interesting." He murmured.

* * *

"What's interesting, Doctor? And who's she?" Clara's voice came from behind him. He smiled a bit as he half turned toward her, fingers still dancing over the instruments as his Rose began to move and twitch a bit.

"Remember when I told you I wasn't your boyfriend?"

"You mean when I looked at you like you were crazy and informed you I never thought you were? Big brother, maybe, but that was last you. Now it's more like gramps."

"Oi!" He protested.

"Well, it is."

"_ANY_way, this is Rose Tyler. I told you about her."

"Yeah."

"She knows my name...the one the loom houses put on my birth records...the embarrassing one I never use or tell anyone if I can avoid it. Telling my mate my name is part of getting married, for my people. Once a woman knows my name, she will remain my wife, any body at all...all of them, actually...are married to her. So, even though the clone told her my name, she's still my wife."

"Okay. So...does that make Rose 'Gram' since you're 'Gramps'?"

"I certainly _hope_ not." Came the coarse sounding voice from the woman in the pod. "I'm no where near as old as he is. Barely getting started. Got a helluva age gap, me and this old goat."

"Oi!" He complained, already helping her to sit up. "Human me knocked you out, put you in stasis and sent you home. All I did was open the pod, so as much as I'm overjoyed to see you and have you back, I had nothing to do with it." He still backed out of her way a bit when she scowled at him.

He glanced down behind her at the sound of a whimper.

"It's just one of the boys. I was going to stay with that you and send this you our children. There's twin daughters too, but only the boys will fuss in their sleep. There's six of them. Oldest is seven."

"_Six_ Ch, ch, ch, children?" The Doctor answered, paling in shock before collapsing in a dead faint.

Rose looked at Clara.

"Get a _camera_." She requested urgently.

"Right..." And Clara trotted of to go find her's.

* * *

"So...we're not going to let him live his faint down, are we? " Rose asked Clara as they settled all six kids into a TARDIS provided nursery.

Clara studied her and slowly started to shake her head in the negative, grinning back at her before studying man face down the hover-stretcher a few feet away. He looked like a passed out drunk, arms and legs flung here and there as they were.. _"No way."_

_**~*~TBC~*~**_


End file.
